Koushaku 253 – After his death
(TL: From Tanya’s side)
I enter her room after knocking a while without answer.
“… Tanya.”
She barely elevates her head to see me in.
“Lady Iris… how are you?”
She lowers her head at my question and in a low voice mutters.
“I’m okay …”
“You can’t say that. It’s so painful to see you, screaming every night his name while suddenly waking up…. I can’t even say that you sleep, it’s just fainting from time to time.
If this condition continues, my lady will fall ill soon.”
“My condition will become better with time, no worries Tanya”
“It’s my responsibility. I shouldn’t have told you the information that Dean died …”
I still regret that time.
…… It would have been good if I didn’t report it.
Even if it’s just a postponement of her suffering.
I’ve never seen her like this before.
Whether the man named Edward abandoned her or when the church accused her.
At any time, the young lady worries and immediately takes action.
She shed tears and continued to run looking forward.
… but now …
She was like an empty shell of her former self.
She sheds tears, faints, sheds tears… and the cycle continues.
I feel like her strength is sipping out until nothing is left.
But I can’t do anything to help her.
This is terrible and frustrating.
…… Instead of protecting the lady, I can only look at her suffering like this …!
But she shakes her head quietly at my words.
“I would have come to know sooner or later anyway…. Because he is the first prince of this country.”
She sighed at her words.
“But … I should have been more careful about the moment when to say it. You were very tired after all that happened and I brought in the news that your most loved person had died. Moreover, I was not able to comfort my lady. I couldn’t say otherwise when you asked me too…
It seems so painful. I can’t even imagine your suffering and I don’t know how to comfort you or help you. Losing someone I love is unimaginable.”
“……Love?”
I suddenly opened my eyes at the unexpected words I said.
In response, Iris is surprised for a moment … but the next moment, she smiles sadly.
“Oh, didn’t you realize until now?”
Iris reaction makes me think that I was correct at my statement.
“… Is that right? No, that can’t be. You really were in love with the first prince all this time?”
I wanted to cry at the thought of it.
“Tanya. You must take a break.”
It seems she used all her strength to utter those words.
“No …! My lady you’re in such a state, I can’t rest now…”
“That’s why. Tanya. If I fall ill or end dead, who will continue leading these people?”
“but……”
“You are going now. This is an order. Rest.”
She reluctantly speak those enraging words.
“… The orphanage children have visited several times.”
She told me with a particularly gentle voice.
“Orphanage? From the territory?”
“Yes, yes … I hoped for the orphanages to be better places than before, and our efforts are bearing its fruit. So Tanya… please think of them… they’re awaiting our visit”
Iris laughs softly … Incredibly; she was able to smile, though it was awkward.
“Next time, I’ll talk to him when I gather the strength to visit his tomb. We must close the curtain to our history and memories in a time of sadness.”
I was relieved to hear that.
I think… my lady will recover… it will take time but she can! …