When Geoffrey's identity was revealed to Emily, he expected that she will be reluctant to forgive him. He knew that she was a bit prideful like that. Since he was at fault, he took the initiative to lower his ego and apologize wholeheartedly.
When they were paired up in music class, it gave him the opportunity to continue with his apologies. He wanted her forgiveness not only because he thought he loved her, but because he considered her as a special friend close to his heart.
Like any other matter in his life, he tried to repress his emotions for although he fancied himself in love with her, he was still bound to an obligation. So, during their rehearsals together, he never initiated to voice his real feelings. He kept his silence and tried to treat her with utmost care and respect.
When she told him that she was already willing to forgive him, it made him very happy. At the very least, he got his friend back. However, the next time that they meet, she would tell him that what they were doing was wrong as he was already an engaged man. He wondered if she knew how much her words affected him. How, with just mere words, she was able to twist and turn his heart.
He could not understand the whole cat and mouse charade that she played. So, in the end, with her provocation, his patience completely worn, he just burst and let it all out. That was when he admitted his feelings for her. When the rejection came, he was ready to walk away, to let go. It was her who pulled him back. He knew that it was wrong, but a part of his heart was with hers, so he was tempted. However, he knew that he was an engaged man, and his stature from hers were worlds apart. Although Emily was part of the peerage, her position was too low. Also, the practical part of him wanted to spend more time with her to ascertain their feelings.
This time, he started to really get to know her better. The both of them were a little too alike, so he thought that they truly get each other. High expectations from their family, pressure on all sides, wanting to excel for their parents. This developed a certain feeling of companionship from him. That desire of wanting to be there for her because he understood how lonely it was to be alone. It felt wonderful, the feeling of being needed and for once, he reveled in it.
Yet, as time went on, things changed, more precisely, his feelings for her changed. If he were to point when it began, he would say, after the preliminary exam results came out. He understood that she worked so hard to get the marks she received, but she was unsatisfied. He does understand the feeling, but he was not stupid as not to read between the lines.
He understood where the insecurity came from. What he didn't like was her, blaming someone else because she failed to get what she wanted. It made him remember his brothers and all those he surpassed who thought he did so just because of his position. If she was saying that Serena only bested her because she was who she was, then what does that make him? Does Emily also believe that all of his achievements were only because he was the crown prince?
This was when the seeds of doubts regarding Emily's sincerity came to be. He often wondered, was she with him because he was Geoffrey? Or was she with him because he was the crown prince?
He wanted to laugh at himself for thinking too much. Not knowing what to do next, he lowered his pride and talked to his cousin.
Although his father, for some reason unknown to him, hated the Duke of Suffox and warned him against getting too close to his son, he uncharacteristically chose to ignore it. Charlton was a nice chap, and he could say that he was one of the few people that he considers close to his heart. He was not only a friend, but his family.
During his younger days in Alighieri, he had fond memories because of him, Kylo and Leonard. There was even a time when they were inseparable. But as they grew older, they somewhat grew apart because of different interests. Charlton was closer with Kylo, while he and Leonard were too focused on fulfilling what was expected of them.
When it came to Leonard, the time he became engaged to his sister, their friendship drifted further apart. At first it was just awkwardness, but when his sister entered school, it became almost hostile. He knew why and he regretted it. He often wondered, if he were good to Serena and chose to be with her, would things have been different?
The first time he met Serena was during their music class. Truthfully speaking, when he first saw her, he found her very beautiful. He can even vividly recall that when he held her in his arms, he had wanted to embrace her. However, when he heard Leonard yell her name and saw what she was wearing, he let his prejudice get to his head, more so when she boldly removed the coat Leonard wrapped her with and asked his cousin if he thought that what she was wearing was appropriate.
Although he had his heart set on Emily then, she was still his intended. He expected that at the very least, she should be somewhat decent. At that time, he felt ashamed of her. From his perspective, Charlton was just incidental in the encounter because he was the nearest person other than him and her brother to ask, but how could she ask that question to a man?
Thus, that encounter made a lasting impression on him. Paired with his prejudice, as she was the daughter of the man who was the highest bidder on his father's auction for his hand, he labelled her as the attention seeking sort, not fit to be seen, much more to be queen.
Though they shared the same music class, they did not have much opportunity to interact. He did not know her much, and he did not have the interest to do so. However, as fate would have it, they still ended up seeing more of each other.
It came as a surprise when she became the freshmen's female representative. He thought that the position would end up with Emily, but contrary to his belief, Serena proved to be not as air headed as she seemed.
Despite everything, there was a part of him that was proud of her. Since she gave him space and he felt guilty, he wanted to congratulate her. However, he heard her friend mock Emily, and her not saying anything. Again, he suddenly felt that she was arrogant. So, he reprimanded her and her friends. He never thought that she would directly rebuke him back.
The day after, they encountered each other at the student council meeting. He was usually early but chose to come on the dot because he wanted to evade her and Leonard, just in case. She was unexpectedly civil and did not give him a hard time. He thought he would need to give out an apology, but it seemed like she doesn't need it.
The next day, when he spoke to Charlton, he asked a little about her as she was spending time with him. Charlton did not speak fondly of her and told him that they only got along very well on the surface. He did not know why, but a part of him was relieved to hear those words. He doesn't understand why he felt that way, but he just did.
Then he saw her enter the church for the wedding. He was again assaulted by how beautiful she was. Even when he thought of her pretentious as she charmed the elderly with her smile and her wit, he could not help but admire her. Thus, when he left, he had to remind Charlton to look after her. Perhaps he was still on the stage of denial at that time, but he knew that he started to become curious.
At the orphanage, when he heard her idea, he was again flabbergasted. At first, he was a bit upset with the thought that she could not even sympathize with the children. Emily spoke against her, and a part of him wanted to say something in defense of his fiancee for the first time. Thankfully, his cousin spoke up for her first. At least that way, he did not hurt Emily. Serena for her part was not discouraged at all. Just as he thought, she did not need any consoling words. She can rebuke him, the crown prince. What more of Emily? She was strong that way.
When she started speaking, he unconsciously focused on her face as it was the only time, he saw her talk with so much passion and intelligence. He understood what she meant, but it took him some seconds to digest it. There, he realized that she was beautiful, intelligent, and politically aware. He looked down on her, but she was in fact above him.
The last straw was when he saw her interact with the children. It was as if he was seeing her for the first time and he felt his heart throb. She was also very kind.
He suddenly realized that Serena was not like what he thought, and he was such a fool to have been prejudiced about her. He would not say that he was in love with her, whatever that word means. But he could picture their future, and it looked promising.
However, he was not a novice on this as he once was. With Emily, he thought it was love, but now, he understood that he was mistaken. He will need to clear everything with her first. Then he will carefully trudge what he should have done from the very start.
At the very least, this could make things right again.
--
TBC