Chapter 119: Episode 23 – Abandoned World (4)
The King of Wanderers smiled slightly at my words. “It has been a long time? I saw you last time.”
“We just passed by each other at the time.”
So far, I had seen the King of Wanderers twice. The first was when Han Sooyoung and I destroyed Song Minwoo and the second was when the Disaster of Floods was killed.
This was the third time…
The King of Wanderers slowly took off her mask. As expected, it was her face.
I asked, “When did you get out?”
“A little while ago.”
We looked at each other for a moment. My mother and I didn’t look alike. No matter how hard I looked, it was only a face in the late 30s. When I was a child, I often heard that she looked like my older cousin. Of course, that was when I still had my father.
“Did you live in Seoul?”
She replied, “I came to meet someone I knew.”
“Then you were accidentally caught in the Seoul Dome?”
“Yes.”
“You have been released. Why are you wearing the prison uniform?”
“Let’s see? Perhaps it is out of a desire for atonement?”
“…Atonement? You?”
“Every human is a prisoner. They have their own prison.”
I stared at my mother. That shameless tone… She really hadn’t changed. She told me, “Can’t you say any words of thanks? You would’ve had a harder time without me.”
…Certainly, she helped. My mother led her forces north to the disaster. It was great, no matter how weak the disaster. In fact, I believed that she would do it properly. I hated my mother but I also knew my mother well.
“You are meeting your mother but you don’t seem happy.”
“Do you really want that?”
“A little bit.”
[The exclusive skill ‘Lie Detection Lv. 1’ is activated.]
[You have confirmed that the statement is false.]
How funny. I knew it was a lie but I still had to check. I said, “You have survived. You are a great survivor.”
“It is thanks to the story you told me.”
“…I guess so.”
“You are the only one who came to the prison to see me and told me about the novel you read.”
That was correct. I never had a proper conversation with my mother during all the times I visited her at the prison. I only talked about Ways of Survival. Once I became tired of it, I stopped visiting. “I didn’t have anything else to say apart from the novel.”
“How can that be?”
“The novel was all I had.”
An image of the past came to mind before disappearing. If there hadn’t been Ways of Survival or the author who wrote the story, perhaps I wouldn’t be in this world right now. This story was the only comfort to the Kim Dokja who didn’t have a mother or a father.
My mother muttered, “It is at most a fantasy novel…”
“In the end, you survived thanks to that novel.”
We stared silently at each other for a moment.
[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is looking at you with excited eyes.]
[The constellation Secretive Plotter is looking at you with strange eyes.]
[The constellation Demon-like Judge of Fire is watching you with sad eyes.]
I was the one who broke the silence first. “What attributes did you get? It might be related to the novel I told you.”
“Should I tell you?”
“Yes, if you still think of me as your child.”
“I wonder if you think of me as your mother.”
“A little bit.”
[The character ‘Lee Sookyung’ has used ‘Lie Detection Lv. 1’.]
[‘Lee Sookyung’ has confirmed that the statement is false.]
Dammit. My mother already had this skill. There was a hint of sorrow in my mother’s expression. I had no way of knowing if it was acting or not.
She asked, “Are you still holding a grudge against me?”
“I’m not here to talk about that.”
“Your father was the bad guy.”
“I know.”
There were certainly ‘bad people’ in this world. One type used violence against their wives, illegally gambled and threatened their family’s livelihood.
My father was a bad person. I knew it, my mother knew it and South Korea’s laws said it. However…
“Your actions weren’t right just because my father was a bad person.”
“There are things we have to sacrifice for a better life.”
“There is no such law in South Korea. There is a law that any human who commits murder should go to prison.”
“You are good at speaking because you only read novels.”
“For me, reality was more like a novel. Because of you.”
At this point, it already wasn’t a normal conversation between mother and son. This was why I didn’t want to talk to her. I knew what would happen when we talked. We knew too much about how to hurt each other.
I changed the topic. “Do you know why I am looking for you?”
“Let’s see?”
“I can tell when you are lying so stop beating around the bush.”
My mother smiled lightly.
“You have prisoner no. 406? Lend the grandmother to me.”
“…Wouldn’t it be better to take the incarnation with Jeon Woochi as a sponsor than this grandmother? I have many useful incarnations.”
“Jeon Woochi is Mother’s companion. Besides, the grandmother will be more help.”
My mother stared at me for a moment before nodding. “Certainly, she might be useful because of the opponents. By the way, how do you know the sponsor of No. 406?”
“I can’t say.”
“Do you have a skill to see sponsors?”
I couldn’t say anything to my mother. “Are you going to lend her to me?”
“I’ll lend her. Instead…”
I was a bit afraid of what she would say next. My mother would probably suggest a deal I couldn’t imagine at all. She said with a faint smile, “Next time, introduce me to your friends.”
I was stunned and couldn’t pick my next words.
…Shit. It was a perfect blow. My mother was the best at making bad people worse.
“Dokja. Look straight at reality. Even if fiction becomes reality, you shouldn’t think of fiction as reality.”
[The exclusive skill, ‘Fourth Wall’ is shaking violently!]
I only heard a few words but my entire world seemed to shake. I knew for sure. To this, this person was the strongest reminder of the ‘reality’ I hated.
“Do you understand?”
[The stigma ‘Self-Rationalization Lv. 1′ is activated.’
Disgusting. Now she wanted to act like a mother. Too many rivers had been crossed to go back now.
[The exclusive skill, ‘Fourth Wall’s’ shaking has subsided.]
I couldn’t bear it anymore and stood up. “That’s right. I think that fiction is like reality. Why? It is because I have always been living that way.”
“…”
“Maybe it seems pathetic to you. However, know this. At least I didn’t sell ‘reality as fiction’ like you did.”
I left the tent with these last words. Cool air entered my coat’s collar and reached my body. I looked in front of me and saw the slightly startled Yoo Sangah.
“I-I’m sorry… Dokja-ssi was late…”
It was difficult. No, rather than difficult… It was shameful.
“Did you hear everything?”
Yoo Sangah bowed her head in a deep apology. The crown of her head could be seen.
I eventually sighed. “Would you like to take a walk?”
We walked along the platform of Yongsan Station. It was definitely a cold wind but the temperature changed when it touched my cheeks. There wasn’t time to wash my hair but a nice fragrance floated from Yoo Sangah’s hair.
I asked, “How is your hangover?”
“It’s okay. By the way, I heard that you carried me on your back. I’m sorry. I troubled you.”
“It was because you were looking after me.”
We were silent for a moment before I opened my mouth. “Do you think it is strange? Why are a mother and son talking like that?”
“That’s not true.”
She was lying. It was extremely strange.
“Do you want to know?”
Yoo Sangah’s eyes shook for a moment. “…If you don’t mind.”
I smiled bitterly. Yes, now was the time to talk. I took a deep breath before saying with exaggerated tone. “My mother killed my father.”
Strangely, my words sounded ridiculous. I spoke like it was someone else’s story.
“She went to prison for her sin.”
I continued speaking.
“My father… it is shameful to say this but he is someone meant to die. Domestic violence, gambling, guarantor… my mother and I lived in fear every day. There wasn’t a single day without bruises. I was sometimes hit. Then one day, my mother made up her mind and it happened.”
“Ah…”
“I thought it was quite well-known at the company. Yoo Sangah-ssi didn’t know?”
There was no answer from Yoo Sangah. She realized with the benefit of hindsight that she had touched a wound she shouldn’t have touched.
“Do you feel even stranger now? It is legally wrong but you don’t understand why I hate my mother.”
“No! I’m not Dokja-ssi so I don’t fully understand…”
“Honestly, do you think I should forgive her?”
Yoo Sangah couldn’t say anything. It couldn’t be helped. The touched wound had already burst.
There was an awkward silence before I spoke again. “Do you know the book called the Underground Killer? It was previously on the Kyobo bestsellers list.”
Talk about a book emerged all of a sudden. Yoo Sangah thought the previous topic was closed and replied awkwardly, “I think I’ve heard of it. Wasn’t it an amazing bestseller?”
“It was an essay written by an abused woman in prison after she killed her husband. It was praised by critics at the time. They said that a Korean version of Notes from Underground had come out. Of course, it was completely overrated.”
Yoo Sangah’s face suddenly darkened. She had noticed. I hadn’t changed the topic at all.
“That’s right. My mother wrote it.”
Yoo Sangah’s lips dropped open.
“I still remember the time a bunch of reporters waited in front of my house. They kept asking me if the essay was real.”
“…”
“I remember everything my classmates said. They told me that my mother made money by selling murder.”
“Dokja-ssi…”
“My relatives also said this. My mother is a murderer. How dare she slip her face into the newspapers?”
Yoo Sangah wanted to say something but I kept going.
“It was a bit hard because of this. No, it was hard for a long time.”
“…”
“I could bear to be the child of a murderer. However, it is different to be sold as a story. It is a different matter when my life was turned into money by someone.”
I looked at the sky. It wasn’t night but I was more certain than ever that the distant constellations were watching me. Perhaps this story was meant for them as well.
However, no constellations sent me coins. Should I be glad? I didn’t know.
“Do you still think that I should forgive my mother?”
I didn’t want an answer. I didn’t want her to understand in the first place. Maybe this was the ugliest form of violence I could do against Yoo Sangah, who grew up in a well-off family. It was an arbitrary display of unhappiness forced onto someone who would never understand.
The kind Yoo Sangah would grieve knowing that it was impossible for her to understand. I laughed at the unknown sense of victory. “I’m sorry. It was a joke.”
“Huh?”
“It was a lie. Were you fooled? Do you think there is a novel like this? My mother and I are ordinary people and my father was in an accident when I was young…”
Then something small and soft gripped my hand. The texture was so warm that I forgot what I was about to say. For a while… I stopped walking.
Yoo Sangah wasn’t looking at me. Thus, I wasn’t looking at her either. We walked hand in hand without facing each other. It was as if this alone was sufficient. Strangely, my heart gradually calmed.
[The exclusive skill, ‘Fourth Wall’ is shaking faintly.]
Perhaps it was due to the realistic body temperature.
“Dokja-ssi!”
We neared the entrance of the station and there was the sound of people rushing forward. We reflexively let go of our hands. Jung Heewon ran over and asked, “Did the two of you kiss again?”
“K-Kiss?”
“Yoo Sangah-ssi is blushing. You did it, you did it!”
I would’ve misunderstood if I didn’t know Yoo Sangah a bit more.
“Stop playing around. Nothing happened.”
“Yes yes, I’m sure.” Jung Heewon looked at me and said, “A strange grandmother came to find us. She was called by Dokja-ssi?”
An old woman with a cane walked out from the back of the party. “I hope this useless old body will be of help…”
Like other prisoners, the grandmother was wearing a blue prison uniform. She was prisoner no. 406. My mother acted very quickly.
“Are you Kim Dokja?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
“I’ve heard a lot about you from Sookyung. It is a pleasure.”
“It is also a pleasure.”
Sookyung was my mother’s name. I looked around at the party members and said, “She is indeed the person I called. Let’s depart.”
We exited Yongsan Station and went to a place where people were gathered. Yoo Jonghyuk’s party and the kings were already gathered there.
A white crystal slowly fell from the Great Hall in the sky. It was a crystal that shone with light.
[Warp Crystal.]
This was the item we would use to go to the next scenario area.