He suddenly grabbed my hand and drew me into his embrace. He held my waist and looked down at me.
He looked at me so seriously. His eyes were so dark they sparkled, and I saw my pathetic expression reflected in them. He smiled faintly and asked in a reserved tone, "Xiachun, tell me how you can always smile like nothing matters. Teach me how to do that."
I was at a loss for words.
Su Qi's tone gradually became tense. "Because just looking at you makes my heart ache so much that I can't breathe."
I tried to push him away, but he tightened his embrace.
I felt a little angry, but I just couldn't bear to lash out. Rather than anger, perhaps it was more of a sense of embarrassment.
Su Qi fixed his eyes on me. "Do you know that your name is like a thorn in my heart? Every time I breathe, it hurts! I, Su Qi, have never been in such a sorry state before. I have no lack of suitors. I can't figure out how I am so defeated when it comes to you."
I laughed. "Poor judgment. Get it treated early."
Su Qi asked me back, "What if I don't wish to be treated?"
I was silent for a long time before I said helplessly, "Su Qi, you're 27, right? You should be married, right?"
…
"I'm not married. I've been waiting for you."
I pushed him off in a panic while trying to steady my center of gravity. With my back to him, I took a ragged step and slid forward. "There's just no possibility between us now."
He caught up easily again, not letting me off. "I don't mind."
I finally couldn't take it anymore and turned around. "Do you want to be with me, even if I don't love you?"
Su Qi said, "I'll work to win your heart somehow."
I said, "Su Qi, don't be like that. Okay? I'm already 23. You're 27. We're not kids anymore. So don't say such willful things."
He stopped in front of me again and pointed at his chest, saying, "You have someone in your heart. Similarly, I have you in mine."
"…"
"When you finally let go of Dongyu, that's when I'll let you go."
"…"
Su Qi continued, "You keep asking me to give up on you, but you're insisting that I do something that you're unable to do yourself."
I suddenly stopped moving.
He embraced me from behind and in a faint voice said, "There are many things in this world that cannot be reasoned with. I love you just like you love Dongyu. It's not something that anyone can interfere with."
"It's been eight years. Everything has changed."
I feigned a casual smile. "Coming back here is like coming to a foreign country. Many changes can take place in eight years, Su Qi. There are a good many eight years ahead of you. They don't necessarily have to involve me. You've done well in the last eight years without me too."
"Done well?"
Su Qi turned me around by my shoulders and tightened his grip. "Did I do well, really? Xiachun, do you know that I had gone to America to look for you and like a madman tried to track you down? I asked your parents about you, but they wouldn't breathe a word! I've waited so many years for you to come back, yet you say I've done well in the past eight years without you? What makes you so confident things were that way? Life had been hell for me!"
"People are always unwilling to accept things not going their way." I stated flatly, "Perhaps everyone thinks that the most-cherished things in life are things that we cannot have.. But Su Qi, I'm really not someone you should cherish."