Eight years. So much had changed. Returning to this city, I felt like there was no longer a place for me. But Dongyu, thank you. At least…'
At least I still have a place in your heart.
I'd waited fifteen years for those three words. And then another eight years. Perhaps now, my youthful obsession had finally met with a semblance of completion.
All my life back then, I hankered after him, hoping that I'd hear these three words.
However, now that I'm grown up, hearing these words did not make me as ecstatic as I had expected.
At 15, I wished more than anything that my love would be returned, but that never happened.
At the age of 23, I had hoped that my love would bear fruit, but ultimately it did not.
When people grow up, their ambitions grow as well.
However, I gradually learned to bear with the pain and let go. In all probability, I had come back so that I could say a final goodbye to this relationship.
I laughed foolishly and rubbed away my tears. However, my tears kept flowing like a broken dam.
But even as I cried, I smiled. Somehow, it felt like I had waited forever to hear these words.
Dongyu took a deep breath and curled his lips as he looked at me with great tenderness.
The corners of his eyes crinkled as though he was smiling, but in his eyes I saw hopeless affection. They were slightly bloodshot, but clear and sparkling. However, as a grown-up 26-year-old now, he couldn't possibly just break down in tears so easily as he did when he was 18.
I clenched my hands tightly and nervously pinched the corner of my shirt. I pretended to be calm and said, "I saw it in the diary."
"Hmmm?"
"The notes you left in my diary, uh huh…"
I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled. "I read them."
Then I remembered the pages in the diary, which I had left empty. Now they were covered with the words "I miss you", written in neat rows with a blue water-based pen.
Dongyu's face was now a little different from how I remembered it to look.
He looked tougher now.
In the past, his features had the softer and more feminine lines of a youth. They were delicate and fine-boned. Now, they bore a more masculine edge.
Especially his handsome eyebrows, which were shaped like the blade of a sword. They were straight and natural looking.
This man was once a young man I yearned for day and night, someone who never left my mind.
He was also once my nightmare. Every time I dreamed, I would wake up with tears streaming down my face.
I had so much to say to him, but those words could not escape me.
He seemed to have a lot to say to me too, but those words never came as well.
No girl I knew of would wish to see the man she loved walking down the aisle holding another woman's hand.
It was cruel punishment for the heart.
But could we, before he got married…
"Brother…"
I stretched out my open arms and smiled a little. "Can I hold you?"
Because of these words I said, Dongyu's smile, which had been a perfect cover, finally gave way.
He drew me into his arms and stroked my hair, tightening his hold on my waist. Suddenly he let out a sorrowful whimper and cried like a child.
I held him tightly, infected by his desperate and desolate cries, and cried helplessly as well.. I buried my face in his shoulders, wishing I could fuse myself into him and become one with him.