Chapter 123: Chapter 123
“No, of course not!”
“Then why did to kiss me?”
“What?”
Edgar took a step toward her.
“You said you shouldn’t do it unless you are in love.”
Rubica took a step back afraid.
“Does it mean you have feelings for me?”
Rubica didn’t know what to say. Did she have feelings for him? She hadn’t thought about that.
“That’s… that’s…”
It wasn’t easy to find an excuse. She hesitated and took a step back, and then another, and then again.
But soon, her back met the wall. She tried to run away, but Edgar used both arms to block her way.
The tension, that was as tight as a pulled bowstring, overflowed.
“Was that all a joke? You told me that and kissed me for fun, as a joke?”
“No, no. That’s not it.”
Rubica managed to say that, telling her heart to calm down. What that feeling had been, that breathtaking heat and passion that had absorbed her, she couldn’t define it clearly. However, there was one thing she was certain of: she wasn’t the kind of person who did such things for fun.
“Then why did you do it, Rubica?”
Why did she do it? They had shared their first kiss at the wedding, as a vow during the ritual done in front of the gods. Her will hadn’t mattered back then. However, what just happened, right in this room… she had been drunk in the mood and kissed him even though she could have resisted.
‘But I’m in love with Arman…’
Love found her very slowly when she was too old to tell anyone her feelings.
She had kept her late love to herself, lest the fact that she liked her would be bad to him. Although it hadn’t been the passionate love of a youth, the fire in her heart had burned slowly but surely.
But then, why was she doing this as soon as she came back to 22? She could have lived coldly even after getting married to him. Most marriages between nobles were a strategy to maintain the wealth, so husbands often had mistresses and it was a wife’s virtue and trend to share their love with knights.
Their marriage had been a marriage of convenience, but their actual relationship was different. Rubica tried really hard to justify the feeling she got for him as something similar to friendship, but it wasn’t easy.
She had never embraced or kissed a man like that.
If another man had pleaded for her love, saying he was lonely, would she have embraced him? Kissed him?
The answer was no.
Why was she doing that then? Was it because he was handsome enough to lure in many women? She thought of herself as a follower of beauty who adored and praised beauty. She had thought she would never get to love him, but was she nothing more than a girl who fell for pretty faces?
“Rubica.”
Edgar lifted her head and made her look at him. Her clear auburn eyes were shaking, and he could see how confused she was. She looked so fragile that his determination to get her answer started to shake.
-That’s how loving someone is. I feel happy when he looked happy even if I’m in great pain, and the world itself becomes so miserable when he is in grief, even if I am so happy and comfortable. I feel like I can do anything for him but, at the same time, I hesitate because I fear he might find it too much… that’s love.
Rubica had said that to him once, and that was exactly what he felt about her. He was happy when she smiled, and his heart ached when she was sad. He really could do anything for her. He had even decided to give up mana quartz for her. Her tears and the fact that she could close up to him forever was a bigger pain than everyone else’s objection and protests.
Everyone was saying one word to him.
‘Your Grace, you are in love with your wife.’
He tried to define his feelings for her in a different way, even after hearing what the doctor said.
Even he was that much confused, so he could guess how much confused she was. She turned pale and it made him afraid.
“You don’t hate me or despise me, right?”
Rubica just nodded, but Edgar scolded himself for trying to interpret the situation with hope. He usually prepared for the worst but, when it came to Rubica, he tried to see the best in everything. Her gaze, her gesture, to him it all meant she was interested in him or liked him.
‘I’m being no different from the girls who say I must like them just because our gazes met once or twice.’
Edgar thought of the girls who always chased him around after having a dance with him, hoping for another dance, and it made him sad.
He had found such girls so bothering till now. He just couldn’t understand why they couldn’t give up hope when he was clearly not interested in them. But now, he could relate to them, and he even felt sorry for them.
This was how it felt like. Not being able to let go of even the smallest hospitality and pouring in all hopes into dreaming for a happy future.
He was no different than them.
However, what if she finds me bothering as well?
He had gotten timid as well as he got to see the things in good ways. This was why being sarcastic was good. That enabled him to face everything without fear. But when it came to Rubica, he just couldn’t stop thinking positively.
‘I cannot let that happen.’
He dropped his arms and let her go. Rubica didn’t like that overwhelming tension and thought it was her chance to run away, so she escaped quickly. However, she was caught again only after a few steps.
“We need to talk. I have something to ask.”
He looked quite determined.
“Okay, but I’m hungry.”
Edgar thought about it for a while. However, what he had to ask wasn’t something he could ask in front of the others.
“We’ll dine here.”
Edgar told Carl, who had been waiting outside, to bring a simple dinner, adding it should be food that didn’t require any servants as he wanted to talk to his wife in private.
“Yes, of course.”
Carl was smiling widely. He had seen the two sharing a passionate kiss when he opened the door. He had been so shocked that he closed the door quickly.
“Oh! Did you just see that?”
“Oh, my gods…”
“Oh, he is so dashingly handsome.”
The maids muttered among themselves till the door was opened again. Carl stared at them, quietly telling them to be silent, but every time he looked away, they talked about the duke’s arms tightly holding his wife and his blue eyes that shined with passion.
“I didn’t know he could be so… energetic.”
“Did you see how her skirt didn’t touch the floor. He was lifting her up as if she had been a feather.”
Actually, although Carl was trying to hide it, he also couldn’t help but smile. He knew their marriage had been made through a deal.
‘But there’s no telling about a man and woman’s relationship. Yes, of course. A couple that used to hate each other turning out to be deeply in love happens quite often.’
He was extremely happy and proud. To his eyes, Rubica and Edgar were madly in love. Well, a moment’s mistake would be enough to make a baby.
Carl drove the food cart himself. He had to try really hard not to whistle as it looked like everything was going to be just fine.
“Is that all?”
“Yes.”
However, unlike him, Ann seemed to be thinking everything was going to go really, really bad. She sighed deeply and went in with a maid after announcing the dinner had arrived.
“Your Grace, shall we put it on this table?”
“Yes.”
Edgar nodded and lifted a basket on the table for them. Then he spotted a small handkerchief in it. On its corners was the Claymore’s emblem he was familiar with.
‘Did Rubica embroider it?’
He wondered that after putting the handkerchief in his pocket. He didn’t dare to take a close look at it as he took it without anyone noticing. Now he was stealing, and he felt quite guilty about it, but he wasn’t going to put the handkerchief in the basket again.
“Your Grace, have you told him?”
Ann whispered to Rubica, pretending to readjust her dress.
‘I have. Don’t worry.’
Rubica mouthed that without making a sound. Ann was relieved but, at the same time, she found the situation quite odd. Edgar didn’t look disappointed at all. The two rather looked closer than before, so Ann quickly left the room to not disturb their time together.