Chapter 64: Who are You? (3)
Translated by: ShawnSuh
Edited by: SootyOwl
Juho too, wanted to experience the characters behind the screen coming alive. He wanted to be one of the audience members Sang Young had described. He wanted to walk out of the theater with excitement. For that reason, he wanted to feel anger, the desire to write, and a small amount of happiness. In order for that to happen, the film adaptation had to surpass its original counterpart. After all, he had created the original.
Because that was what he had wanted, he hadn’t attached any conditions for directors wanting to make his book into a film. Maybe the young Juho in the past would have wanted the same thing. For that reason, he had felt angry and disappointed.
“Are you confident that you can make something that surpasses my work?”
Sang Young looked at him with surprise, and Juho heard Nam Kyung taking a deep breath.
“You mean more so than the original?”
“That’s right.”
There was silence. As he waited quietly, Juho felt certain that Sang Young would be the perfect director. He had come looking for Yun Woo at Nam Kyung’s publishing company multiple times and, after many failures, he had finally succeeded. Now, they were sitting across from each other.
Sang Young had been reaching his limits in his conversation with Juho. He had been fiercely determined to make it happen. The fire had been apparent in his eyes, and he had been responding to Juho’s provocations.
‘I’m sure it won’t be that difficult for him, but he has more than what it takes,’ Juho thought.
Sang Young’s lips trembled ever so slightly.
“Very well,” he answered with his distinctively husky voice. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make an adaptation that surpasses the original.”
If he were to overcome the difference between novel and movie, or words and images, and captivate the author with its result, there could be something for Juho to write about in his next book.
“Haha,” Juho laughed as a gesture of consent.
That day, the three remained together and spent a long time talking over a meal. Juho still hadn’t read the scenario, and he hadn’t attached any conditions to the project. He had given Sang Young full creative authority and freedom.
Everything had gone smoothly, and it didn’t take long for the news to spread.
Countless articles poured out. It had become widely known that Yun Woo had been turning down directors wanting to make a film adaption of his book. Sang Young had been in several interviews since then, and without fail, every one of them had asked about Yun Woo.
“I’m sure you’ve met with Yun Woo by now. What was that like?”
“How did you manage to convince him?”
“Could you describe his appearance?”
“What was it like having a conversation with him?”
No matter the question, Sang Young gave the same answer, “I prefer to keep that to myself.” Although the internet exploded with complaints, Sang Young hardly read any of the articles online.
His sole interest was in the production of his movie, and soon, the process began to breed questions for Juho. Because Sang Young had been looking for some sort of influence in direction, he started pouring out questions for Juho. However, Juho gave him no answers. Unlike Sang Young, what he had been looking for was the interpretation of the readers. They had constantly clashed, and that had continued to that day.
One day, they had made plans to meet for dinner at a barbecue restaurant. When Sang Young arrived, he was still in his worn out jeans, but he opened his mouth as soon he sat down.
“So, about the personalities.”
“It’s up to you. It’s up to the reader how he interprets the book.”
Whenever the two met, they exchanged the same conversation dozens of times. Neither of them gave way.
“Really? Not even a hint?”
“I’m giving you creative freedom instead.”
“C’mon, just a tiny one?”
“You already have the scenario written. You’d know by now.”
“I’m just trying to make a good movie here.”
“Your interpretation is enough for me,” he answered as he brought a cooked piece of meat into his mouth. Sang Young grumbled, but Juho paid no attention.
“It’s a gamble, but what about romance?”
At that, the scenes from the past film adaptation rushed past Juho’s head. It had been smothered with romance that hadn’t been in the book. Though he hesitated for a brief moment, he brushed it off as soon as he saw the person sitting in front of him.
“Whatever your heart desires,” he answered with a shrug as he chewed on his food.
‘This director is different from the one I worked with in the past. He’s not going to settle for some romance movie.’
“You’re not going to visit the set even after we start filming, are you?”
“What would I do there?”
“Aren’t you curious about how movies are made?”
‘Not really…’ Juho thought.
“It’d shatter my fantasy of movies. I’ll just wait till it comes out in the theaters.”
“If you say so. You know, you’re nothing like other high school students. Maybe it’s ’cause you’re a writer or something,” Sang Young answered as he rolled his eyes.
“I’m a high school student AND a writer.”
“Working two jobs, huh? Must be tough.”
“My sleep suffers a bit, but eh… What can I do?”
“It’s gotten harder for teenagers to find part-time work, huh?”
“Not if you have your parents’ consent.”
“It’s better not to work at that age.”
Then he began to share his experiences of his past jobs. Apparently, he had worked at a barbecue restaurant like the one they were in, a car wash, a gas station, and even in a prop management team.
“It was tough. There’s a saying that there are great lessons to be learned from suffering early. I hated that crap. Look at me. If you suffer when you’re young, you’ll suffer when you’re older.”
At that, Juho reminisced about his past.
After repeating all kinds of failures for the span of thirty years, he had found himself accustomed to failing. He no longer had the desire to do anything. He had been like a dead plant with its leaves hanging lifelessly. That had been what it looked like to be familiar with failure.
‘I’m sure it’s the same for suffering,’ he thought. Once a person had grown accustomed to suffering, growing out of it would have been more suffering in and of itself.
“Because I’ve gone through so much, I do whatever it takes to stay away from suffering.”
“That’s not necessarily a bad thing.”
“Who said anything about it being bad? I’ve led a good life. I’m just saying that I’d been forgetting things.”
“What have you been forgetting?”
“When I was young, I’d always been the kid who ran straight for the net,” he said as he chuckled.
“I’m sure your teammates had a lot to say about that.”
“If there was a ball before me, I kicked it. I didn’t think twice. I was just so desperate to score a goal. I kept kicking until it made it into the net. I thought of one thing as I stood in front of the goal post. ‘I want to be successful,'” he continued without paying attention to Juho’s answer.
Apparently, his longing for success had been greater than his fear of failure at one point in his life.
“I’d been forgetting that this entire time. I was busy suffering and dating my wife. I’m confident that I’ve led a happy life. But after reading your book and connecting emotionally with Yun, I realized that I’ve been living in darkness all along. I’ve been wanting something all along, but I was too afraid. I’m not saying giving up is a bad thing, but I was taken aback that my decision was something that took place in between my stream of consciousness. It all happened so naturally, without anyone knowing. I didn’t bother to kick the ball any more. I gave up on trying new things,” he said as he put a piece of meat into his mouth, chewing.
“Before I knew it, my eyes had already adapted to darkness. Now, I can see what’s before me even with the tiniest of lights. It all happened before I even became aware,” he said as he looked at Juho.
“Even if I hadn’t read your book, I would’ve been content still. I feel burdened just from avoiding failure, but there was something about the book that kept urging me. It kept asking me if I wanted to see what was on the other side of darkness,” he said as he took a sip of water.
“So, I decided to make a movie with the book that shook me at the core. It had been a big decision for me, but the answer had been a “no.” It would have been embarrassing to give up on my first try, so I went looking for you. After I met you, I finally earned the copyright. I’d finally done it. But you know what? The real doozy is that this is just a beginning.”
He had resolved himself to making a film adaptation that surpassed the original. It had just begun.
“On that note, do you have anything to tell me about the brother?” he asked impatiently as he brought another piece of meat to his mouth.
‘I’m sure he didn’t say all that just so he could ask me that,’ Juho thought as he chuckled.
“I almost gave you an answer there.”
Sang Young had been referring to Yun’s older brother in ‘The Trace of a Bird.’ He was much older and he didn’t have a job. He hadn’t been around much either. He was hardly a decent human being.
Sang Young didn’t let up.
“He’s got a girl pregnant, hasn’t he? He becomes a dad in the end, right?” He asked watchfully. It had been quite a sensitive question.
Yun’s brother had a charm that drew people to him. Among those who liked and followed him, there were also girls. He had gotten one of them pregnant in fact.
When he found out, he visited his younger brother for the first time in several years.
“The brother is afraid of birds too, isn’t he?”
Juho nodded. Both Yun and his brother had the same fear, but there was a difference in the way they manifested. The older brother ran outward while Yun inward.
“Is he going to make his girlfriend get an abortion?” Sang Young asked like he was trying to pry out an answer from Juho, who just kept smiling. The book didn’t clarify what the brother had decided to do. After leaving Yun’s house, his name never came up again.
“Why do you ask? How did you want to portray him?” he asked back.
“Hm…” Sang Young groaned as he thought for quite some time. “I think he’ll do it.”
“He’ll do what?”
“Commit murder.”
‘Murder.’ Juho looked at the pieces of meat that had been sizzling on the grill. They were no longer alive.
Yun slowly spiraled down into darkness. Boringly, and awkwardly. Deep inside, he couldn’t hate himself. No matter what anyone said, his priority had been himself. He hated pain to a fault and, because of that, he didn’t leave his house.
On the contrary, his brother had been destructive. He had led a reckless life with no regards for those around him. He didn’t care one bit for himself and had let go of his life in a way that almost felt refreshing. Perhaps, that was what made him so charming.
The reason why Juho hadn’t written about the brother in more detail was because he simply couldn’t describe him in writing. It hadn’t been because he had wanted to leave room for interpretation. He just couldn’t dare to write in detail about his destructive life. He couldn’t pull himself together to write the scene where the brother was telling his girlfriend to kill the baby.
“Get rid of it. Kill it.” He would’ve said things to that effect. After all, he had already been at a place where he couldn’t help himself. Sang Young had interpreted things accurately. The brother was more than capable of killing someone.
“If he’s capable of killing a bird the way he did, he wouldn’t have much trouble killing a person.”
His way of overcoming his fear was to remove the very thing that he was afraid of.
Juho started to look forward to Sang Young’s movie. He had been following Juho’s thought process to a tee.
‘How would this turn out? What would ‘The Trace of a Bird’ look like as a movie?’ he thought as he put a piece of meat into his mouth.