Chapter 620: She Feared that One Day She Would Become the Version of Herself She Detested
This was Zong Wenxuan’s own opinion.
Then again, they wouldn’t reveal to him the real reason behind this mission.
*
Lying on the hospital bed, Gu Qingjiu was just hesitating to reply to Helian Niancheng’s message. But then, she suddenly sensed movement at the door.
Before the figure appeared, her heart rate started quickening.
When she saw that familiar figure appear before her, Gu Qingjiu couldn’t hold herself back anymore.
It had been a long time since she tasted her own tears.
However, when she saw the Chief Instructor, she couldn’t restrain her overwhelmed emotions any longer.
“Chief Instructor!”
She called out to him. When Helian Niancheng saw her pale face and left arm hanging, heartache and self-reproach surfaced in his eyes.
“Sorry, this is my fault.”
He ought not to have believed in Gu Qingjiu so much that he asked Joker to stop his protection of Gu Qingjiu. In the end, something like this happened.
Actually, he had always guessed what she was doing.
But because of his identity, he didn’t order a detailed investigation.
When this incident happened to Gu Qingjiu, he didn’t bother about concealing his identity anymore and made concessions to his father.
Gu Qingjiu came into Helian Niancheng’s arms immediately.
The reason for the great fluctuation in her emotions was because she simply couldn’t control herself in front of Helian Niancheng.
She could pretend to be brave before Lu Ziyang and the rest because she was that calm and strong Gu Qingjiu.
However, in front of him, she had moments where she felt incredibly aggrieved.
She wanted to say that she was in great pain when she had her arm cut—a heart-wrenching kind of pain.
When she was unconscious, she returned to that nightmarish past once more.
She recalled that awful past she no longer wished to remember.
But what she hated the most wasn’t the reason that they threw her into prison.
She could tolerate it because she was trying to erase from her mind that nightmarish incident.
She was forced to put up a resistance against other convicts in jail because someone had tried to assault her sexually.
Gu Qingjiu was weak and useless at that time, quietly dragging out an ignoble existence in jail.
Yet, she had to be subject to such horrors.
That was an incident that disgusted her so much it made her want to retch.
It was even more retching than the way Yu Shiwei repulsed her.
Hence, she could keep her calm in the presence of Yu Shiwei. But in her state of unconsciousness, she recalled this secret buried in the deepest throes of her heart.
It was an ugly past.
It was the root cause of Gu Qingjiu’s inferiority complex.
However, what horrified her the most was when she killed that convict during the mission because she felt excited.
It was the same perverse enjoyment she felt when she attacked that convict in her previous lifetime. At that moment, when she pounded the convict with a rod and saw her head covered in blood, Gu Qingjiu felt like she had degenerated like those surrounding her.
Feeling both loathe and perverse enjoyment as she relished in that sensation, she was powerless to stop it.
It was as if something sealed was finally unleashed!
She feared such a version of her. She didn’t know if everything that had happened would again make her turn out to be like that in the future.
She shrunk in He Niancheng’s embrace and felt herself on the verge of a breakdown, her body trembling involuntarily.
Helian Niancheng held her tightly. His eyes reddened.
He gently caressed her back and tried his best to comfort her with his gentleness.
“It’s alright now. You must believe in me.”
“Nothing of the sort will ever happen again in the future.”