Chapter 58: “Because I Want to Stay with You a bit Longer.” (4)
“Qinghuan, something on your mind?” a grandfatherly and gentle voice was heard from above his head. Yu Qinghuan hurriedly stood up and greeted, “Teacher Wang.”
Wang Zhensheng waved his hand and sat beside him, “don’t stand on ceremony with me. Finally you got a little time. I think we can have a talk.”
“It’s nothing actually,” said Yu Qinghuan with his eyes lowered, “it’s just some things I can’t think through.”
“You are young. Why bother?” Wang Zhensheng shook his head, “Qinghuan, this is your advantage but also your disadvantage. When I was your age, I would do whatever I want. Anyway I am young. I can start over even if I fail.”
After a pause, seeing Qinghuan still looked in low spirits, Wang Zhensheng didn’t push him but changed another topic, “what’s your plan after shooting The Line of Life and Death?”
“I want to go to the Grand Theater to learn and improve my acting skills. And then I’m gonna shoot How to Love you,” Yu Qinghuan told him his plan he had arranged for himself, but still looking a little confused, “after that, I still got no plan.”
“I remember I asked you last time,” The smile on Wang Zhensheng’s face gradually gone, he said to Yu Qinghuan seriously, “I asked if you hate acting, but you didn’t answer me. What if I ask you again today?”
Yu Qinghuan also thought about it very carefully for a while and answered, “I don’t hate acting. I just…kind of hate this circle.”
One could say he was really bold enough to say such words. If others heard of it, they would turn up their noses at it and sniggered that Yu Qinghuan was still wet behind the ears. But Wang Zhensheng just nodded and didn’t judge, but asked, “Why is that?”
This time Yu Qinghuan answered without even thinking, “because it’s too fickle and utilitarian. And in this circle, I feel like every move of mine is under people’s eyes. I can’t do things I want to do. I have no freedom at all.”
“Qinghuan,” Wang Zhensheng looked at him and said earnestly, “candid camera and paparazzi are really something you can’t avoid in this circle. But if you are low-pitched enough, protecting your own privacy isn’t so difficult as you imagined.”
“And, what do you think freedom is? Freedom is not like as you imagined, you can do whatever you want, but when you don’t want to something, you can say no.”
Yu Qinghuan’s heart skipped a beat and he held his breath.
Wang Zhensheng continued, “Every circle has its own unspoken rules. Absolute clean place doesn’t exist. If you want to quit this circle to avoid such grey zone, you are wrong.”
“So why don’t you change your way of thinking? When you are powerful enough to say no to the rules, or you could even make the rules yourself, will you still care about those things binding you?”
Yu Qinghuan lost in his words, he even didn’t know when Wang Zhensheng left. When he came to himself, the sun was already hanging over his head.
The sun in winter was not scorching hot, but it didn’t have that kind of warmth in summer. Yu Qinghuan raised his head with his eyes narrowed, feeling the sunlight jumping on his face.
Now it was time to decide on what path to follow.
Since Fang Zhongxi hadn’t recovered, the shooting was also postponed. After staying at the set for a while, Yu Qinghuan went back to the hotel. When he was going to the bathroom to take a shower, Yu Xin stormed in with a pair of red eyes.
“Dude, what happened?” asked Yu Qinghuan while closing the door quickly.
“Qinghuan,” Yu Xi clenched his fists, veins bulging out on his forehead, looking extremely angry. He nearly gritted his teeth to restrain his grief and said word by word, “Shen Ji used his connections to change another broker.”
Shen Ji was under him for six years and he also gave all his best resources to him. But in the end Shen Ji kicked him out relentlessly.
He understood that Shen Ji wanted to be famous. If he explained that he wanted to change another broker, Yu Xin might not stop him. But he chose such a ruthless way, which apparently indicated that he wanted to draw a clear line between them.
“Am I stupid and blind!?” Yu Xin pulled his own hair hard, with all regrets and humiliation on his face.
“Dude, it’s all right.” Yu Qinghuan comforted him while patting his back to soothe him, “it’s better to get rid of such people like him sooner than later.”
“There’re things you don’t know.” Yu Xin shook his head, nearly shedding tears.
He knew that his connections were limited. Compared with those brokers capable of dealing with all men, he was too far behind. But he had really been trying and given the celebrities under him the best resources. But still he got dumped…
Is there really no real friendship in this circle?
“He is not the only celebrity under your hands.” Yu Qinghuan couldn’t bear to see Yu Xin like this, he couldn’t help raising his tone while frowning, “You still have me.”
Yu Xin raised his head, looking at Yu Qinghuan surprisingly, “Qinghuan, will you really use me? Even when you go viral?”
“Sure,” answered Yu Qinghuan without any hesitation, “you are my only broker in this life!”
“Qinghuan…” Afraid that Yu Qinghuan might see his red eyes, Yu Xin tuned his head and said sullenly, “you have to win some credit for me. Show those people! It’s not that I can’t make them popular! It’s their own problem!”
Yu Qinghuan was caught dumbfounded. Everything after his rebirth was fast skimming over in his head, like playing a movie.
There are things that he can’t escape from, however hard he tried.
He sighed slightly and nodded under Yu Xin’s expectant eyes, “Hm.”