Watching him silently while appreciating the view, Zanya experienced something she found frightening. She could not bear to take her eyes off him as if she was the one who was under the spell of the bond now. Was it because… this beautiful creature looked so damned tormented right now? Ugh, was she a pervert?!
"Damn!" she muttered to herself, biting her lower lip even harder. Her expression looked like she had gotten herself into the most ultimate trouble, one that she could not even escape. And somehow, it did not seem like she wanted to escape anyway.
Then she bent over and placed her hands over his chest. "I'll give you more strength. But that's all I can do for you now. After this… I'll leave you alone as you wished." She said then her magic glowed from her palms, transferring them to him.
However, his large hand caught her wrists. The slightly rough texture of his hand created a delicious friction that sent her skin crawling in a pleasurable way.
His eyes opened and she caught her breath at the sight of those demon-bright purple eyes.
"I'm… sorry…" he said with so much difficulty. "Can't do that to you…"
She slitted her eyes. "Yes, I know… you, stupid vampire!" she said, her voice hard and she did not know if she managed to hide the sudden hollow ache that she actually felt. "I'm not an idiot not to see that you'd rather die than mate with me. Must be tough for you that I, someone that you'd rather avoid and suffer than touch, happened to be the one who was there that time in that hall. Must be way easier for you if it were not me, huh? Ah, well…but there's no use saying that now."
His eyes widened. Then a helpless smile curved across his lips. Zanya felt her breath catch again at that sight. Was this the first time ever that she saw him smiled? He really should do that more often, she mused to herself.
"Damn it…" he cursed in a choking voice. "That's… not it." he shook his head as he looked at her wretchedly.
"Then what the hell is it?!" Zanya snapped, getting irritated and angry again. This person was truly good at bringing out her worst sides.
Leon wanted to reach out. He could hear in her voice her frustration and the anger in it. My god. This woman was really thinking he was resisting her because of that?
When he looked at her through his dazed gaze, he saw the offended expression on her face. He wanted to look into her beautiful forest green eyes to see the emotions in them, but he could hardly focus his gaze now.
He still refused to give in despite the burning urge that was scorching him to death now. Because he knew he would regret it. Giving in to this desire in his state would definitely haunt him later and he did not know if he would be able to live with it or forgive himself for it.
Thankfully, he was too weak to even grab her now. He had pushed his body beyond its limit and the torture had depleted him really bad. To him, this was a better solution. At least, he did not have the power to harm her anymore. And now, she finally sounded like she would finally be giving up.
He should feel relieved now because she was definitely going to leave him alone. But what she said, her tone when she said that… just made him feel the urge to tell her everything.
He had never told anyone about what he had experienced. No one knew about it but him. He never said anything about it, not even to his mother. He had buried it deep within him and he had planned to keep that secret and bring it to his grave.
But now, just because this woman sounded so offended and maybe hurt thinking that he was resisting her just because he did not want to mate with her and was looking down on her… he found himself wanting to tell her all.
He was never the type to explain his side of the story when it comes to his personal life. He really did not care what other people think of him. If they misunderstand him then so be it. After all, their opinions neither affect him nor hurt him. But right now, why did he care so much about what this woman would think about him? Why did he suddenly not want to be misunderstood? Seeing her distressed and offended expression caused his heart to be in more pain than anything else.
"I don't want to hurt you." He finally said, shaking his head weakly. "I can't hurt you. You don't know… you don't know what I am going to do to you if… if I give in… damn… you might… you will break."
"Huh?!" Zanya frowned hard in confusion. "What the hell are you saying? Could it be that you think I'm ignorant about what goes on between a man and a woman? Goodness, who do you think I am? I've lived long enough, seen enough to be broken over something this small."
Leon shook his head, closing his eyes.
"Doesn't matter how physically strong you are… I… I've seen how easily a woman can break because of this."
Zanya could not speak at the sudden change in his tone. She frowned as she wondered what other deep scars he held within to react so strongly like how he was doing now.
"When I was a child, I've seen it…" he continued with so much conviction. "My uncle raped my aunt right in front of me, like a madman… he… broke her… and I knew I might do that same thing to you the moment I give in to this. I know I would. And I can't do that to you." Leon shook his head a little.
Frozen and utterly speechless, Zanya could only sit there, looking at him with wide eyes.
"That's why please… get away from me, now. I'm going to look for the shell and end this madness."
Silence reigned between them.
And just as Leon thought she finally got the point and was leaving; he suddenly felt his arms and legs being weighed down as if someone tied them with lead weighs.
His eyes flew open to find her lowering herself on him and proceeded to straddle him.
"I can't possibly leave now after you said all of that, you stupid vampire." She said as she bent over him, meeting his utterly shocked eyes. "I'll be the one to end this madness, Leon. And I don't think you're in a position to even worry about hurting me, much less breaking me. Have you even realised how weak you are now? You have drained yourself so much to the point you don't even look like a drunk man anymore but a dying man." She grumbled but without the sting in her voice as she started to undress right on top of him.
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